the really last love affaire

“still unknown
the most beautiful of all oceans

our most beautiful days

and these words, the most beautiful ones-
-still unspoken”*

The romance between Mulder & Scully has always been in my heart, as a very important thing in… my life 🙂 so as a long distance fan I feel priviledged to add few words about the whole issue.

When I started to watch the x-files I was an eleven years old child, someone who vaguely knew what do adult people do together when they’re completely alone.
Despite of it I knew intuitively there was something in the air, kind of erotic-mystical vibes between them, chemistry that only an unhappy love can generate. (How further I am now, being actually twenty years older than that kid I used to be back then in the mid of 90’s…)

During one spring and summer between the 5th and 6th grade me and my friend from the neighborhood were waiting (almost breathless) for any little sign of Mulder and Scully’s romance. They were our hero’s, we wanted to be like them, we loved them in a our childish way so finally we wanted to see some flame between two beloved beings. Unfortunatelly newspapers were reporig Chris Carter wasn’t planning any love affaire in his production. Even more: he used to claim any erotic relationship between the main characters would destroy the show.

When I came back to the x files in early march 2013 (my month of sleeplessness, late snow, early violet flowers on bushes and photographic inspirations) I was suprised finding on youtube all these fan video’s with “Mulder & Scully kissing” “Mulder & Scully bed scenes” etc. -endearing how he is holding her face! an reaching5 to her hair to put it aside! at some point I could say the youth dream came true.
I started to rewatch the first seasons and with unconcealed excitation I was entering the seasons I haven’t seen before (wermuth and watching the x-files from the projector on the wall – priceless… and what is the most beautiful in the scene from the last episode of the last season ?! not that they kiss but that Skinner gets embrassed… it confirms the impression of the intimacy between these two.)

But actually when I got to the end of the season 9 (9 and 11 are my mystical numbers ) I felt kind of upset.
Yes. They did kiss. They even had a baby! What else could have happened between two beings of the opposite sex ?!

Sometime ago there was on tumblr a picture of Mulder and Scully holding a piece of glass in between and someone has commented: “they’re holding the glass because Chris Carter didn’t want them to touch each other.”
However it was an abstract context I found that sentence very appropriate for their whole relationship. Even when they lie together in bed, “Chris Carter still doesn’t want them to touch each other.”
In almost all erotic scenes between Mulder and Scully I feel kind of measured coldness, distance, reserve. When he is kissing her on Titanic…. oh, sorry, on Queen Anne, I see in it an imitation of “great, prewar inspired, costume romances” and the passion seems to be very scenic. The first kiss in “Millennium” looks like an innocent friendly one, especially that in the next episode they seem not to care about it what isn’t psychologically reliable.
Alle the romantic scenes are very short, there’s a gesture, there’s a kiss, there’s something and the scene ends and that’s it. Love scenes between film characters usually last longer than 10 seconds and are more logically built.

The psychology claims the age 9-12 is time for “creating” imaginary impossible romances with actors, teachers, pop/rock stars etc. Who has ever been in love with a teacher or an actor knows very well what I’m talking about.
Taking this concept as a general truth I can say Mulder and Scully’s relationships was for me such an ideal love affaire and what is the most interesting: I didn’t set myself in it.

But not only 11 years old little girls like shipping… so why do we do that ? Why do we care how G.A. & D.D. looked at each other, smiled and what are they actually hiding ? Shipping  is a constant element of every fandom so it must be something univeral for the human nature.
My guess is we unconsiousely project our own weakness for one of the characters or actors to the relation between them. Kind of sublimation where we find a symbolic satisfaction seeing the adored person with a partner that, nobody else but we, “chose” for her/him.

sleep tight.

*this is a Turkish poem of an annonymous author.